3.29.2012

Hard to believe..


It is hard to believe that 6 years ago I was pregnant, almost feels like a life time ago. For the first 5 years of my adult life I was pregnant. That was my life, making babies and taking care of them. I truly loved it. I even miss being pregnant and had my husband not gotten the big 'V' 6 years ago, I would probably have more. 
Not that I could handle it. 
Being pregnant and having a sweet little baby..that's the easy part. 
Yes, it is difficult to go through 9 months of pregnancy, it is painful at child birth, it takes unimaginable strength to care for a newborn baby while healing from the inside out. 
But the hard part....
The hard parts are potty training an unwilling participant, being in a store with a cranky child and getting stares, having to leave a store without your needed items because you can't stop a 2 year old in her manic tantrum, having to see them cry in pain and not being able to do anything about it, having to send them to school and trust others to take care of your child the way you would, having to teach your child that others can be mean, but they are perfect just the way the are, seeing the disappointment in their eye when you say 'no', grounding them even when it hurts YOU more, answering the hard questions about life, death, sex...learning to let go because you know that they can't grow into who they are if you don't. 
It'll be even harder to watch them make choices they will have to pay the consequences for. Bad decision they will make because we ALL make them. Comforting their broken heart. Hearing words from them that will break YOUR heart.
How you handle these hard moments, I think that is what defines you as a mother. or even a father. Showing your love through your own pain
Unconditional love.
It is hard work being a mother but the rewards are priceless. 
I cannot be a perfect mother, but I can apologize when I am wrong, I can cry with them through the pain, I can laugh, I can trust and I can love.

my girls

my boy

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2 comments:

  1. Very true, very honest and so moving. Love it!

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  2. Awww they're beautiful! I was talking to my husband about another baby and he was all, "why would you want to go through all of that again? We're almost in the home stretch now that they're older!!" I walked over and grabbed my 6 year old and said "THIS is why I want to do it over again." They are worth every bit of discomfort they cause us and then some! :)

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