Hard to believe..

It is hard to believe that 6 years ago I was pregnant, almost feels like a life time ago. For the first 5 years of my adult life I was pregnant. That was my life, making babies and taking care of them. I truly loved it. I even miss being pregnant and had my husband not gotten the big 'V' 6 years ago, I would probably have more. 
Not that I could handle it. 
Being pregnant and having a sweet little baby..that's the easy part. 
Yes, it is difficult to go through 9 months of pregnancy, it is painful at child birth, it takes unimaginable strength to care for a newborn baby while healing from the inside out. 
But the hard part....
The hard parts are potty training an unwilling participant, being in a store with a cranky child and getting stares, having to leave a store without your needed items because you can't stop a 2 year old in her manic tantrum, having to see them cry in pain and not being able to do anything about it, having to send them to school and trust others to take care of your child the way you would, having to teach your child that others can be mean, but they are perfect just the way the are, seeing the disappointment in their eye when you say 'no', grounding them even when it hurts YOU more, answering the hard questions about life, death, sex...learning to let go because you know that they can't grow into who they are if you don't. 
It'll be even harder to watch them make choices they will have to pay the consequences for. Bad decision they will make because we ALL make them. Comforting their broken heart. Hearing words from them that will break YOUR heart.
How you handle these hard moments, I think that is what defines you as a mother. or even a father. Showing your love through your own pain
Unconditional love.
It is hard work being a mother but the rewards are priceless. 
I cannot be a perfect mother, but I can apologize when I am wrong, I can cry with them through the pain, I can laugh, I can trust and I can love.

my girls

my boy

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Prayer Request

I know I didn't update my 1/2 Marathon journey the last week, it been a really off couple weeks with the kids being on Spring Break. They went back to school on Monday and I'm finally feeling back to normal to some extent. 
But the main reason I wanted to write is for everyone to pray for my cousin's daughter, Cailyn! We found out last week she has a rare form of cancer, and it is located on her brain stem. Because of this, they cannot operate and she has to do radiation and chemotherapy . She is a beautiful 3 year old and she has a little brother, Ian, who is 15 months. The whole family just needs prayer and support! They live in Florida, my cousin is in the Navy and just returned from a 6 month deployment. He had to come home and receive this devastating news. I know it is easy to give up during hard times, but they are strong and brave and will get through this. We serve an AWESOME God that can heal her! I want everyone around the world praying for Cailyn!!! 
Thank you!
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34 and ready for more..

I had a hard time this week with exercising. I was very busy with work, the kids being off for Spring Break and just needing some good old fashion rest! I probably needed my rest more than working out and I tried to maintain my calories just for that reason! Amazingly enough I saw a number on the scale I hadn't seen for quite some time--down 4 pounds! Woohoo!! 
The kids and I were able to make a trip to Tucson for the weekend so my sister and I were able to go for a 3 mile run! A little taste of running together before the 1/2 marathon! It was so nice to be able to do that & she definitely helped me push through and run more-Thanks Salina! Maybe I'll be able to keep up with her after all :-)


 Goals for last week:
  • Keep up with my calories: Did great, only went over my daily calorie allowance one day & not by much :)
  • Jazzercise 3x/wk: unfortunately I missed Jazzercise ALL week! I worked during most of the classes, I slept in on Tuesday and Friday's class didn't work out because I only got 5 hours of sleep, still needed to pack & head to Tucson for the weekend. But that is OK, I will be back full swing next week!
  • Run 3x/wk-Walk 3min/Run 7min repeat 3 times: I did this once, on Sunday and it went great! Then I did not run all week. Saturday I ran the 3 miles with my sister and we pretty much ran the whole time...except the 2nd mile when I had to stop because my foot went numb HAHA Is that normal??
  • Stop stressing: I did my share of stressing, but not about this. I am enjoying this part of my life. Now if only I could get out and run more!!
Goals for this week:
  • Stick to eating 1200-1400 calories
  • Jazzercise
  • Run 3x/wk
  • Pass all 3 exams this week! Eek! :-)
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